20th Century Fucks

Mayor DiBlasio - You are hurting this city.  You have hurt this city. I don't know the pissing match you have with Cuomo but you are hurting this city, sir.  You should be uniting this city and you are not.  The NYPD endorsed a presidential candidate for the first time since "anyone can remember" is not entirely on your hands. That's been brewing for a century.  The racism.  The institutional brutality.  The family calling of policing as a family legacy.  Nobody in my fucking family is like "I'll do Human Resources."  A family of blue bloods...isn't necessarily a good thing but America hasn't woken up to the fact that nepotism breeds corruption.  But you and the governor had a chance to come together and for whatever reason you are just breeding negativity and divide.  I can live with the fact that as a white man i have never experienced even just a tiny, tiny minor taste of the amount of power the NYPD and the Federal Reserve Policy feel that they can leverage on black lives however i understand the "power without borders" mentality while almost getting run over by them as a pedestrian Downtown near John and Nassau streets.  I don't think it had anything to do with my skin color.  Apparently - they don't have to yield to pedestrians at a STOP sign.  STOP for them meant go.  And when I expressed my displeasure at an NYPD car with a middle finger...they hit their siren.  And my white ass messenger bag carrying self was able to walk away because it wasn't worth it to them.  They let me go because I walked away.  Others get much worse.  i know it's because i look over 40 and white.  You have barricades across City Hall Park.  For a period of time - some dickhead decided it was best to extend them to the disallow people to walk on the sidewalk.  So if you had to cross Park Row to get to Broadway - you had to walk in the fucking street.  Families, elderly...while the NYPD stood mask-less and just watched.  Someone white with money must have complained because you are now allowed to walk no part of the sidewalk.  Walk around mask-less NYPD officers.  i can live with all this.  i can.  i get it.  i have some racist family members who were police officers.  I know they exist.  and they were fucking stupid in life.  and worried on their deathbeds about i don't know their fucking fate.  I can live with going to an ATM and taking out a hundred dollars in 1's and 5's to hand out to people who are hungry or jonesing for fucking fix and just need to feel better.  I'll fucking do that.  I've changed my behavior somewhat.  I just can't stop waiting for someone else to tell you that you are not a fucking politician all the fucking time.  cut the bullshit and fucking start helping.  find the helpers.  in the NYPD.  in the homeless proponents.  black lives.  LGBTQ lives.  find the fucking helpers.  or get the fuck out.  

Open City Hall fucking park too.  Keep the NYPD but open the fucking park.  I fucking LIVE down there and THAT is my park.  That is my comfort.  THAT IS MY FUCKING FOUNTAIN TO BEAR WITNESS TOO.  It's not closed because of COVID.  It's closed because BLACK LIVES don't MATTER.  that's fucking hard to take.

Do Something.

Andrew t. Stankovits. 

Gimme a minute - Part 1

There's a ringing in my ears : My eyes stinging with tears
I race to the seaside - my place of peace: all i feel is panic and a dreadful unease
Try to keep it serene: BAU for the company video screen
Gotta still earn my bread and get to bed : gotta keep myself fed but still the dread
I'm sticking sand in the sacks:  Cementing all the cracks
Keeping people's chins up  (smile!):  Tell them it's 1/2 filled cups (meanwhile!)
Buy into delusional goals : Gonna thrive and save some lowly souls
Going to be stronger than ever : gonna run, eat, work, sleep more than never
I'm putting on my emergency gear : mask and gloves and facing the fear
Gathering family their food and I think: I'm keeping everyone from the brink.

"I can't breathe."  George Perry Floyd Jr. said "I can't breathe."
He was 46 years old : When the nation began to seethe.
We are the same generation : Albeit one with segregation.
I imagine simple things we felt common, agreed on too.
I also understand though by and large the opposite is true.

And here's where the story takes a turn.
I crashed and burned.
Suddenly I'm waking up in the morning.
And I'm in mourning.
I'm just in mourning.
I'm just in mourning.
I'm just in mourning.

The sun rises.
The cursor blinks.
The news blares.
And the sun goes up and down.
Repeat,  Rinse. Repeat.

Amen, AOC

Blazing the trail. 1920: Women (with some but few male allies) bravely fought for the right for women (mostly white) to vote in a national election. Black women were also legally entitled by the 19th Amendment to vote by but were denied those voting rights in many Southern states until 1965 (and beyond...) through various barriers and with full consent of the governments and those who governed those Southern states (and let’s face it...likely in ALL states.) Faced with intimidation, verbal and physical assault - it was often life or death to vote. Or just safer physically and mentally not to. 2020: So hearing Rep Ted Yoho (R-FL) verbally assault and intimidate AOC made me think about what its must felt like, feel like for these women who have to stand up all the time. Stand up to threats, anger and intimidation. Stand up. Instead of standing shoulder to shoulder without searching for the next threat. Instead of rightly taking the seat you so well-deserve. The seat you fought for and won. I hear you. I’m listening. I’ll fight alongside you. And women - black, white, trans...if you respect people, science, economics, and public education and believe in taking care of our veterans. Black Live Matter, LGBTQ 🏳️‍🌈 rights and civil rights...I will vote for you.

The COVID Monologues: April 6

Worked all day standing up at my stand up desk.  Definitely need to wear my sneakers but it held up well.



Breakfast: Eat cereal with almond milk, blueberries, strawberries and coffee with 1%. Also had a banana too!
For lunch: Wrap with veggie burger, banana with PBFit, an avocado.  Didn't eat the PBFIt but added a tomato and a slice of thin cheese to the wrap.  Also had some carrots.  
Dinner: Leftover grilled steak, shrimp, kale salad with other 1/2 of potato,  red potato.

Exercise:  I stood all day.  Plus i ran 3.7 miles today.  

Tomorrow:
Breakfast: Cereal with almond milk, blueberries, strawberries and coffee with 1%.
Lunch: I think i will go back to soup with (lentil or vegetable) and maybe some ricotta toast.
I will also have a banana.
Snack: Apple
Dinner: BATTS  Bacon Avocado Turkey Tomato Sandwich with red potato salad (boiled, chilled with EVOO S&P).

Exercise: I'd like to pivot back to Monday but add bent over rows and side planks.

• I did high knee kicks.
• I did 3x10 pushups
• I did a bunch of 1-2 punches swiveling each side (maybe like 2 sets of 20?)
• 3x25 sit-ups with a heavy object in hands that extends all the way past head
• I did 3x20 squats while using a full laundry bottle to do a press up
• I did 6X20 rotating straight front arm raises and straight side arm raises
• I did 3X15 bicep curls with said laundry bottle
• I did some cat and (cow?) stretches
• I did down dog and the one where you sit you ass on your heels and stretch
• I did like the push up position where you raise your leg up (2x20 each side) in the air to work your ass.
• Side planks
• Bent over rows

It was mostly a pleasant day.  And much needed because it's been awhile!
Good night ocean, good night God.  Good night loves, good night stars.  Good night cats, Good night dogs.  Good night cousins and cousins in law.  Good night ghosts, good night ghouls.  Good night friends and family, I miss you the most.  Good night bay, good night gulls.  Good night foxes, good night ducks.  Good night.

The COVID MONOLOGUES: April 5

I'm sheltering in place by myself (for now!) at a small, seasonal town at the Jersey Shore during the global pandemic.

I woke up really early this morning and made the mistake of looking at some news.

I threw the phone away and went back to bed until like 845am.

BREAKFAST
I woke up and not sure exactly the order but I made some pour-over coffee and reheated some frittatas that were going on their way out.
I used the oven to heat the eggs and to toast a slice of bread.

I sing a lot too.

Today - I assembled the standing desk work station that i ordered from amazon.  i did it in 90 minutes without cursing or crying.

I vacuumed and cleaned the entire tiny house (except for the bedrooms) and swept and Swiffer'd the floors.  Took about two hours but also did some stuff outside like sweep the patio and put the patio furniture together outside.

LUNCH: For lunch, I ate a banana, an apple, and some grapes.  And a cup of coffee. (Pourover.)

There's no dishwasher here so I'm always doing dishes.  It's kinda therapeutic.

I had a lot of cardboard to recycle so i broke all that down outside.

i had a leftover roast chicken bones that i used to make a slow cooker chicken stock with (just drained it and will fridge it and skim the fat tomorrow.)

EXERCISE:

• I did high knee kicks.
• I did 3x10 pushups
• I did a bunch of 1-2 punches swiveling each side (maybe like 2 sets of 20?)
• 3x25 sit-ups with a heavy object in hands that extends all the way past head
• I did 3x20 squats while using a full laundry bottle to do a press up
• I did 6X20 rotating straight front arm raises and straight side arm raises
• I did 3X15 bicep curls with said laundry bottle
• I did some cat and (cow?) stretches
• I did down dog and the one where you sit you ass on your heels and stretch
• I did like the push up position where you raise your leg up (2x20 each side) in the air to work your ass.

There was some junk on the side of the house from a back door that was recently installed that i organized and threw away - jersey style - with someone else's junk!

I also walked on the beach for like 20 minutes.

DINNER:  I took some olive oil, garlic, and lemon juice in a little pot and heated it on low.  I put some crinkle cut french fries in the oven, took some kale, garlic, olive oil and lemon juice and heated it up in a cast iron skillet.  i added butter (unsalted, not a lot) to the pot and added two filets of cod (maybe 6oz?) and tossed them around on all sides for some minutes.  I shook out the kale into a bowl and added some ripped fresh mozzarella.

I had some Jay Lohr Cabernet.

Tonight i did some laundry and showered.  I also gave myself a tiny haircut around my ears.

I shared a video Debi Mazar posted about NY during corona.

I did dishes.

I filtered the chicken stock.

I've talked to Tony and Teddy and texted with Christine, Julie, Kris, Dave, Sara among others.

I'm writing myself a journal.

I felt good today.  Much better than the day before.  Much, much better than the day before that!

My plan for tomorrow is to:

Say good morning to the beach

Wake up and do some type of exercise (maybe 20 minutes of a run or walking weather permitting.
Work (a lot)
B: Eat cereal with almond milk, blueberries, strawberries and coffee with 1%.
For lunch: Wrap with veggie burger, banana with PBFit, an avocado
Dinner: Leftover grilled steak, shrimp, spinach salad, maybe a red potato.

EXERCISE GOALS

• 30 minute run
• Bent over rows
• Side planks
• Pull ups on beach bar?
• I did high knee kicks.
• I did 3x10 pushupsI did a bunch of 1-2 punches swiveling each side (maybe like 2 sets of 20?)

Say goodnight to the beach.

(Organize and clean the bedrooms.)

Good night.  Love Wins.